A First Step

I’ve had chronic depression since I was 15 or 16. My therapist told me to journal about how i’m feeling in order to become more aware of my emotions, and to assist myself in controlling them.

I recently stopped taking the plethora of medications I was prescribed and replaced them with exercise including wallyball, walking, running, and most recently dirt biking through forests in the middle of rainstorms (i’m sure i’ll blog about that later).

Since making this change I feel a million times better, I have energy, I have positive and negative emotions instead of just feeling like a robot all the time, and for the first time in years I’ve actually developed a crush on a classmate (although i’m sure nothing will come of it).

In light of all of this, I’ve decided to make a blog, because why not! If I am acting weird around friend or family, now they will have a place to go to look for an explanation, and since my emotions have gotten better I actually feel like writing every once and a while.

I’m not a great writer, i’m good at writing research papers and economic articles, but besides that i’m painfully average. My grammmar might not be the best, and my spellin probably ain’t my strongest part, so deal with it. I have more important things to worry about.

I’m going to write about a little of everything, everything from presidential politics to heart breaking breakups. My thoughts will probably be scattered since they are scattered in my head right now, but i’m sure I will have periods of calm and relaxation where my thoughts and writing will be of a higher caliber.

I hope to talk about a lot on this blog, some will offend you and some will bore you, but just maybe some of it will interest you.

 

 

Burning my Draft Card

So my draft card came in the mail and I burnt it, I did it in a stupid way though. I was so angry when it came that I grabbed my bike, some matches, the envelope, and my iPhone and raced down to the park to set it ablaze. It was pouring out so it was the perfect time to do it and not risk burning down the park. I didn’t dress well enough so by the time I got home I think I had the beginnings of hypothermia, but i’m getting ahead of myself.

A soccer game that had been going on had been cancelled for obvious reasons and the two teams were hanging out under the parks pavilion, as I took my card out and set it on fire one of the kids said, “cool, fire!” and a half dozen or so other kids started getting excited. Then when I threw it on the ground, spat on it, and started biking away the entire area around me became silent. When I got home I grabbed a blanket from my bed and sat on the couch (not laying down in bed during the day helps fight depression) with my hands on my chest in order to warm them up.

Then, a few hours later I realized that in my fervor I forgot not only to film what occurred but also to retrieve the card which could contain personal information like my social security number. So I grabbed my bike again, went to the pavilion, make another little fire, and recorded it for ya’ll, and for myself in the future looking back.